The Bitter Dread

One of those days the dread feels bitter with the world. Absolutely psyche-less! Maybe has to do with the sheer volume of the idiocy talent pool that we have in this country. That said anyway, Jah forbid that I be judge upon fellow Idren as I’m only speaking my mind. 

 

I’m always irked by the pompous people who think because they know a thing or two about a particular mundane subject that makes them an authority on the same. They will ram it down your throat on social forums and the least attempt on engagement by someone more knowledgeable degenerates into an ugly ‘tweef.’

 Then we have the plastic people we have around with borrowed mannerisms and all manner of ‘isms’ that are detestable to a dread. Sunday Christians and Ramadan Muslims that are pious on ‘religious’ days but all over spreading hate, crude jokes and malice on any other day. Realness is scarce I tell you. The same people will jump into any social fad bandwagon for fear or missing out. They will tell you they are listening to a particular radio show or watching something on TV just because that’s what every other ‘fool-osopher’ is ranting about on the Twitter timeline or Facebook wall. Your date with His Imperial Majesty draws nigh!

 I hope this bitterness does not get down to levels of people I see on social media that rant, curse and have an opinion on just about anything. I have this cheeky idea though of having a database of people’s numbers like one Alai guy then start throwing them around when I feel like….namba za masufferer lakini…

Rastafari Bless!

Wanjiku Impunity

Impunity is one of the most (mis)used words in Kenyan lingo. Interestingly, the word seems to be synonymous with governance and politics. But come to think of it. Kenyans at the lowest of levels have perfected this vice and are the first ones to throw it around whenever their millions are stolen by the leaders they (s)elected.

I’m not trying to hold forte for thieving politicians and learned crooks. I do not give a rat’s behind if the thief is ball-less like one professor or a poet who preaches ‘mbas’ politics. They all deserve a special place in Kamiti pre-1987 or whichever year it was the hangman’s services became redundant.

On a Wanjiku (sic) level, however, the impunity manifested in our day to day activities would shame the drug dealers, rapists, murderers and extortionists that fart and snooze all day in that inAugust house along Parliament Road.

What would you call this prevalent behavior where I send you 200 shillings by mistake via Mpesa and you withdraw then switch of your phone? Impunity par excellence! Or instances where motorists think they ALWAYS have a right of way over pedestrians even in designated crossings?

The common thuggery in our hoods is not by the ruling elite (ok, maybe they do indirectly through lack of policy and frameworks to create jobs and keep young people off streets) but by people who in essence are in the same social class. Beggars stealing and killing beggars a few rungs above them in the lower end of the social ladder. Just wish they did that elsewhere..

Walk in the streets and drop a coin or Jah forbid, your mobile phone, only the rarest of souls will pick it up and hand it to you.

And yes, in the social media (that fad that has created this delusional all-powerful behemoth called KOT) tribal, gender, sexual and other chauvinists abound. Very quick to point out ills in the wider society but pushing the same in social media disguised as jokes and other trends. One could go on and on…..

One thing about Kenyans is that they complain loudest when they are victims but will quietly look on and look the other way if it’s their neighbor in problems. You actually get the feeling there is a silent wish they were the ones in positions of power to have a feel of the famed cake…

I’m writing this on stolen time and resources which is impunity in itself so I rest

Rastafari Bless!

(C)

It's A New Year

After a long silence the Rastaman is back. It’s a brand new year and now that alla you are sober and broke and the only thing you can afford to pay now is attention, then pay it…to me! So 2011 is a one blood clot of a goner. And not too many pleasant memories to savour from that year so we let sleeping mongrels lie.

2012 is here and as one of my bredren told me the other day, ‘hii ni mwaka ya mapesa’ If the dread doesn’t make it this year, then it’s destined to be a hard life. But the again me nuh like to preempt His Imperial Majesty, so mi ah go take each day as it comes….

It’s an (s)election year so the blood clot politricks will take centre stage. Not that it matters much given ours is a land of politricking (s)election year or not. But this year we are of course going to take the madness a notch higher. Voter bribery, use of public resources and a plethora of other vices synonymous with our democracy will definitely take precedence over common sense. And of course we are going to vote the same buffoons back in….

And that obnoxious matter of the ICC will of course hang over our heads hideously like a Chinese dragon. And I don’t mean the International Cricket Council. The son of Jomo and Samoei will definitely have their day in Trandfilova’s court which is a good thing given that there is a possibility there will be less two Pigs in the dirty pool… whatever the outcome, my only prayer to H.I.M is that the confirmation of the charges will act as a deterrent to impunity when our leaders open their mouths.

My minutes at the warehouse where I earn my paycheck are winding up so I will leave it at that for today….

Rastafari Bless!

Of Kenyans on Twitter

Kenyans are indeed a peculiar lot. And I do not mean in the obnoxious way in which one Sunny Bindra does. And first among the list is Sunny himself especially with his madness and obsession with well…peculiar Kenyans. Just because you write a column on a popular daily that only the elite can relate to does not make you an authority on anything, leave alone our peculiarity. Of course peculiarity is not an excuse for really stupid Kenyans out there, but hey, that’s who we are and you ain’t gonna change us. And before I forget, we will never be Singapore and they can never be us.

Now back to the topic of the day. There is this amorphous group on Twitter called ‘KenyansonTwitter’ or ‘KOT’ or whichever moniker they choose to call themselves. Of course I am on Twitter so that means I am a member – take that in you face y’all tweeps now thinking of dissing me. This group has every Tom whose Dick is Hairy who think they invented Twitter ama Twitter ni ya mama yao. There are those who think if you are new to Twitter you are a lesser being and label you an MKZ immigrant or some other unsavory term you would think when they were born out of a passionate or erotic tweet. And of course they all started on Facebook…

Then we have those who have perfected the art of bootlicking. Just present yourself as an expert in say, nursery rhymes and you get mentions and followers in their droves. And of course everyone with mention you in their tweet hoping for a reply or a retweet. Champion yourself as a social/business/political commentator and quote the Dow Jones or NASDAQ and Larry Madowo (that guy has the most annoying laugh by the way) will invite you for PMlive.  And be sure to be mentioned in every tweet with a new business term or ‘analysis’ lifted from the scripted analysis by some blonde female journalist on TV! And before I forget, I think Aly Khan Satchu has the cleanest bottom (and the greatest mind and a real gentleman methinks) in the whole region. Tweeps just love kissing his behind instead of thinking for themselves.

And there are twitter groupies too. They range from college buddies to corporate groupies in the media and other industries. Small talk and gossip and the like are the order here. Like I usually say, my bread needs buttering so no more on that…

Then there are those stuck up tweeps (like me, I guess) who tweet once in a day and look so serious that other people find inapproachable and hard to follow. We get boring at times as we do not just jump into any trending topic or gossip. But hey, we do that by choice and the last thing I need is anyone telling me how to use my Twitter account.

And did I mention the flirts, the idiots, the show-offs….anyway never mind, it’s 3 minutes to 1 in the morning and I need to sleep….

Rastafari Bless!

Time Out

It's time like these that I long for the herb that was found on Solomon's grave! It's 5 minutes to 5 in the morning and I haven't had a wink for the last 18 or so hours. Yet sleep doesn't come. Some night owl on twitter calls it insomnia and all of a sudden I realize am not the only one.

I guess i am the last to watch that Rapho YouTube sheng video and I realize it is not as bad as tweeps made it sound when it was trending. But it was bad nonetheless and am not sure it resonates much with his target audience.

And did I mention I am doing this post on my phone and in darkness? The righteous guys at Kenya Power have deemed it wise to deprive us of power as if we do not pay for it. I guess getting up to the sixth floor where I live at 2AM in pitch darkness is their idea of fun..... And wonder of wonders, there is some loon playing Ken Wa Maria full blast this early just next door! Na siskii generator kwake.... That's why dreads are not meant to live in tenement yards!

All is peaceful outside but my mind is a sea of turmoil. My eyes are straining now but with a full no work day looming, what the blood clot....

The thoughts are getting harder to express so I give up. Can't wait for daylight to pay a visit to my herb supplier just a floor below...




Rastafari Bless!

Arsenal, life's unfair, but learn to deal with it!

Y'all won't believe the reason behind the creation of this blog. But since I need to keep on buttering my bread, I won't get into that. But it reinforced my belief that life is really unfair and humankind is well oh well...forget it.

So yesterday some teams from London were taught a footballing lesson from teams from 'ocha.' Tottenham Hotspurs continued with their lousy start to the EPL season with a thrashing at home by some team one Sir Alex likes to call 'noisy neighbors.' Well, they aren't noisy neighbors anymore, they are scoring goals, and many goals at that.

The talking point for the day (and the rest of the EPL season am sure) is the 8-2 thrashing of Arsenal by Sir Alex's men. For a team that has boasted of youth development and sexy football (albeit with no trophies for 6 years) it was a real footballing lesson by a team that had a younger squad on average as their starting IX.

We won't turn the knife in Arsenal's wound so much as their manager seems to be doing that gleefully for now to opponents’ satisfaction. But Arsenal fans are known to have a penchant for ropes and balconies after such games so hey kids, ease on it, life's unfair but learn to live with it. Next season pia iko.

Rastafari Bless!

How Social Media Can Impact Customer Service

Gone are the days when customer service was confined to a set of robotic rules and fake etiquette. And gone are the days when you had to queue or make calls to your service provider for customer support. Well, maybe not exactly. But new media has emerged alongside these conventional means to help revolutionize customer service.

New media via social network platforms comes with a lot of benefits for the service provider. Besides sorting out the customers’ issue, it is a platform that brings in a kind of interaction between the customer and service provider that is fun and friendly.

Platforms like Facebook and Twitter break the perceived barrier between corporate organizations and their customers in that the interaction is much more personalized and friendly. The feeling that an organization is aloof that a customer gets when they call a busy customer support line is entirely eliminated.

The flow of information is also made easier because the customer can enjoy customer support while on the go through mobile devices like mobile phones and portable computers via the internet.

Then there is the issue of feedback. Being a social network platform, it is easy for customers to make positive criticism of the quality of service provided to the advantage of the company without the fear of feeling intimidated like for instance, when dealing with a customer service staff on the other end of a telephone line.

And with more and more people joining the information superhighway on a daily basis, the potential advantage of social networks can not be lost on a forward thinking organization.